Labels: emotion, meanderings, music, songs, stories, word play

Labels: blogging, poetry, word play, writing

Labels: blogging, poetry, sea, word play, writing

Labels: family, stories, word play

Labels: family, stories, word play

Labels: emotion, gender stuff, poetry, word play, writing

Labels: meanderings, prose, stories, word play, writing

Labels: meanderings, prose, sacred moments, spirituality, stories, word play, writing

Labels: blogging, prose, stories, word play, writing

Labels: beach, meanderings, poetry, sacred moments, stories, word play, writing

Labels: emotion, family, father's wisdom, life on life's terms, poetry, word play, writing

Labels: blogging, emotion, life on life's terms, meanderings, word play, writing

Labels: blogging, emotion, lists, meanderings, social networking, word play, writing

Labels: blogging, emotion, poetry, word play, writing

Labels: emotion, life on life's terms, meanderings, prose, word play, writing

After one of my earliest public presentations had ended many people filed by and spoke words of appreciation and encouragement to me. After almost everyone else had left an elderly lady walked over to me and gave me some words of advice I have never forgotten.

“Young man,” she said, “You need a good job for a beginner. I have some advice for you, if you want it.”

I felt a little slighted, but told her I would welcome her feedback.

“Well,” she continued,” Remember three these three things: 1. Stand up so they can see you. 2. Speak up so they can hear you, and 3. Once you have said what you came to say, Shut Up. You did ok on the first two, but you kept talking too long tonight. Leave us a little room for thinking.”

Then she hugged me and shuffled off.

I eventually got over the injury she inflicted on my pride, but I have never gotten over her words. Time and again I have returned to those words.

1. Stand Up – there are numerous skills that the public speaker needs to master in order for our appearance to assist in our communication. We need to be seen as a part of the message we are communicating.

2. Speak Up – clearly spoken, well chosen words projected to the back of the room will always command attention.

3. Shut Up – Every day presentation should have a beginning, a middle and an end. The end should be as precise as the beginning and must always leave room for people to draw their own conclusions and do their own thinking.

Good advice for all of us who speak in public.

Labels: public speaking, quotes, word play

Since this area is due for some more winter weather, I thought I would share some of an email I received last week…

In case you're new to our area, let me tell you how we do winter here.

• Someone somewhere says snow is coming to North Carolina.
• We start paying attention.
• Someone says it's coming to the Triad.
• Now we really start paying attention.
• Someone brandishes the word "accumulation." Done. Finished. Over. We who call North Carolina home all-out lose our minds.

In the case of this snow, it happens like this:

Tuesday morning: The word "accumulation" is used.
Tuesday afternoon: Accumulation confirmed. All weekend plans put on stand-by or out-right canceled.
Tuesday evening: First trip to supermarket for bread, milk, wine, beer and cookie dough.
Wednesday morning / afternoon: Calls around town for sleds begin. No one has them.
Wednesday evening: Local news does a story about the run on supermarkets for bread and milk. Second trip to supermarket for extra bread and milk, plus frozen pizzas and non-perishables, because you never know.
Thursday morning / afternoon: Spend workday obsessively checking the forecast. More calls for sleds. Search online for sleds, but decide against them because you can't believe how much sleds actually cost.
Thursday evening: Meet friends out for drinks or dinner because you never know when you'll get out again. Realize you forgot to buy bagels. How could you forget bagels? Third trip to supermarket.
Friday morning: Alternate staring out window for snow and consulting forecast for exact snow start time. Cancel the rest of weekend plans.
Friday afternoon: Weather.com reports that it is snowing in your area. Run to window. Spend at least one hour yelling at weather.com because it is clearly not snowing. Ask boss about company inclement weather policy. Complain about said policy. Wait an hour; ask boss if company is closing early.
Friday evening: Fourth trip to supermarket on the way home for last-minute necessities, like chocolate and fancy hot cocoa. Alternate staring out window and watching local news for exact snow start time. Watch the Closings scroll to see if your work is closed on Monday, because you never know.
Friday night: Snow finally begins. Call/text all of your friends and family to see if it's snowing in their area and to make sure they're OK in the storm. Update Facebook status to reflect snowfall in case you missed anyone. Order pizza so you don't have to break into rations too soon.
Saturday morning: Marvel at snowfall. Fling pets / children into the snow so they can marvel and so you have pictures for your Facebook page.
Saturday afternoon: Drive or trudge to nearest hill and attempt to sled on a cookie sheet/shower curtain/trashcan lid/pool float.
Saturday evening: Meet friends out for drinks or dinner to celebrate snow.
Sunday: Eat leftover pizza and stare out window, watching snow melt. Obsessively watch Closings list. Feel happy when the county you once lived in announces closing and then sad because you never became a teacher and now you have to go out, clean off the car and then go to work tomorrow. Plus you've got all that bread and milk to eat.

Labels: meanderings, weather, word play, writing

Do you ever find yourself stuck, fingers poised upon the keys and yet – nothing. There is a thought, the beginning of a phrase hanging on the very edge of your mind and then – nothing. You know there is a genesis word needed, or at least some word that will begin the avalanche of prose that is pressing so dutifully upon your mind, straining to flow through you and onto the page and into the world, a message of fine worth and clear depth – waiting for that beginning, that right word to give the process the smallest nudge into existence.

Well, that is where I am tonight and that word eludes me…

Labels: blogging, prose, word play, writing

After attending a faculty concert at the University Of North Carolina School Of The Arts in honor of Mozart’s birthday (great music), my wife and I decided to rent and re-watch “Amadeus.”

The movie is a master piece and tells the story of Mozart’s musical genius through the eyes of the aged, embittered Salieri, a court composer and contemporary of Mozart. What struck me profoundly was Sallieri’s struggle – he speaks of holding within himself the appreciation of and desire to create, divine music and yet, he must live with the reality of his inability to do so.

I believe many of us struggle with similar tensions, unrealized passions. I believe we often find ourselves frustrated by the limitations of our craft to contain something larger than us. Yet, I also believe that it is this desire to manifest something greater than ourselves that can make us truly a vessel of Divine love and empowerment. It is a reoccurring theme and one perhaps worth acknowledging…

Labels: emotion, sacred moments, songs, spirituality, word play

Yesterday I had a visit with a good friend of 5 years now. We met innocently enough at a local coffee house (Café Roche) and talked over hot coffee and warm pastries.

We spent about 2 hours together and I left with a bitter –sweet awareness.

The Sweet – We listened and talked to each other. We asked questions to better understand perspectives. We recalled life experiences and things we had read or seen to add depth and breadth to the conversation. We wondered together. We laughed, debated and shared silence together. I left feeling grateful for the time and stimulated in my thinking and creative passion.

The Bitter - I don’t have good, quality conversations of substance nearly often enough. I know I am busy at work and at home. I know the trend is for 140 character interactions, online chatting, blogging/commenting and trite verbal exchanges (and I’m very good at those – I’m just saying), but I wonder if there isn’t more to it.

Have we somehow developed into a culture where conversation has been replaced with brief proclamations and affirmations? Has the art of informed group inquiry (was there ever such an art) become too complicated, too time consuming? I think one of the reasons that I love sharing coffee with others – just about anyone – is that it slows things down and creates a moment for conversation. It is hard to be in a hurry when you are holding and trying to drink very HOT liquids!

My life needs more time for coffee and conversation, more space for debating, wondering with others. What about you? Care to join me for a cup of Joe?

Labels: coffee, emotion, word play

Labels: blogging, prose, spirituality, travel, vacation destinations, word play, writing

Doing what we like doesn’t mean it isn’t work.

I enjoy public speaking tremendously. Master presenters have fun, laugh and enjoy what they do. It is important to remember that we aren’t doing this just for our enjoyment, but rather as a means of work, meaningful work in order to share valuable ideas, concepts and experiences with others.

Public speaking is work and we do well to work hard. What are the aspects of your public speaking career that require work? Is it generating ideas, reviewing video for ways to improve, booking speaking engagements, website maintenance, or updating successful presentations? The elements of our activity that feel like work are usually the very aspect that needs out attention.

We must work at what we do if we are to become better at what we offer.

Labels: lists, public speaking, word play

Excellence isn’t about being perfect.

The single most effective approach to engaging a group is to allow them to glimpse your flaws – with humor. An introduction that pokes fun at your accomplishments, some self disclosure about mistakes, a touch of self effacing humor or an acknowledged misspoken word will often put our audience at ease.

Professional speakers can seem larger than life and letting people see a glimpse of our humanity helps make our message more believable.

A word of caution: This is not the time to air your dirty laundry or introduce controversial topics or intimate self disclosure. If you we need our neuroses affirmed – let’s take those to a therapist and not inflict them on our audience.

Labels: lists, public speaking, word play

Thinking isn’t just for off platform.

While it is true we never want to ‘wing it’ in place of solid preparation, it is also true that we often need to allow ourselves to think and adapt. People like to see us think, so don’t be afraid to respond to a good question with a pause, some solid thought and then a casual answer.

As advanced speakers we are able to think ‘on the fly’ and offer interactive presentations rather than canned speeches.

Labels: lists, public speaking, word play

Posture isn’t just standing up straight.

By the time we get a few public presentations under our belt, we know a few things about appearance. We know to stand tall, command the platform and to eliminate unnecessary or awkward movements. Yet, the master speaker wisely incorporates new mannerisms and gestures into the presentation to help deliver impact.

We need to develop a skill set of hand movements, postures, arm movements and facial expressions that will allow us to offer a variety of visual cues. One word of caution: I’m not suggesting we provide the antics of Jim Carrey, but rather that we be able to increase our visual offering when it is helpful.

Labels: lists, public speaking, word play

Preparation isn’t 3 points and a poem.

The running joke in seminary was that every good sermon is made up of 3 points and poem. The truth is it’s not a bad guideline for structuring a 15-20 devotional presentation. However, the problem for some of us is that when we get the outline done – we are done.

For presenters who have a natural ability to speak, the danger is that we might step onto the platform with little more preparation than an outline. I have heard many times, “I have a plan for what I want to say, but I’ll just ‘wing it’ on the details.”

No matter how good our speaking skills may be, there is no talent substitute for solid preparation: research, plan, practice and repeat.

Labels: lists, public speaking, word play

I have spent a good deal of energy developing my ability to communicate with others. I have spoken to thousands of people (sometimes at once), conducted countless one-on-one meetings for purposes that range from pastoral counseling to sales appointments, and I am a father and husband. Much of my life has been – as has yours – spent communicating with others.

I would like to offer to you today, what I consider to be the two greatest tools for successful and effective communication.

1. Listening – the saying had been offered “You have two ears and one mouth so you should listen twice as much as you talk.” Am I listening? Here’s an exercise I find helpful. After you have had a conversation with someone, write down everything you can remember about them and what they said. It might surprise you how little you heard. The art of suspending internal commentary in preparation for speaking in order to hear what is being said – is an art often under developed. Try listening and then repeating what you are hearing for confirmation.

2. Questions – there is a lost skill among us; the ability to ask a quality question. Ask people about themselves, what they would like to achieve, why they are here, what their goals are or just what they plan to do today. These and any number of countless questions are the key to understanding and setting a stage for sound communication.

Your turn! What helps you succeed in communication?

Labels: life on life's terms, word play

1. You use the shortest words possible – distilling your vocabulary to sprite-like verbiage (a phrase you would never us on twitter)

2. Compound sentence structure disappears; therefore there are no flowing poetic descriptions.

3. Characters begin talking in short less than 140 character, abbreviated, direct thoughts.

4. When discussing back story, sentences begin with RT @Character’sname and a quote from earlier in the text.

5. You spend time pondering how tweet shrink and url shorteners can be applied to the editing process.

Or, you find yourself writing a short, 5 part post in the affects of Twitter on Writing.

Labels: blogging, twitter, word play, writing

“The greatest discovery of any generation is that a human being can alter his life by altering his attitude.” –Williams James

I spent 8 years in higher education, 15 years beyond that as a pastor for a mainline denomination, and studied human psychology, pastor counseling and theology. It took a man with no more than a high school education and a background in construction to teach me something real about people, about me.

I was having a bad day and it wasn’t even 10:00 am. I’d had an argument with my wife. My children were not behaving the way I wanted them to, and my work schedule for the day was so packed that I knew I wouldn’t be able to get all of it done. My brain hurt, my back hurt and I pretty much hated everything and everybody at that moment.

My boss at the time took note of my very bad attitude and asked me to come into his office. I did. He listened to my story and then paused before saying, “You have two choices this morning. You can stay pissed and have a sorry day, or you can do something about your attitude.” He reached in the desk drawer and handed me a card* that resembled one of those “do not disturb” door hangers. On the front and back were a series of saying, positive affirmations. He told me to take it and if I wanted to change my attitude to read the sayings out loud on the way to my first appointment for that day. My attitude wasn’t very receptive. I thought of all the psychological cliques that I knew. I thought about how what I was going through was much bigger than a few clever and witty sayings. I thought of a hundred reasons why his suggestion was, at best, inadequate. I didn’t challenge him. I took the card and headed for the truck. As I walked out of his office he said one more thing, “I bet you’re too chicken to try it.”

I smiled and for some reason warmed up to the idea of proving him wrong. On the way to my first appointment, I read them out loud:

“I will win. Why? I’ll tell you why – because I have faith courage and enthusiasm.”

“Today I will meet the right people in the right place at the right time for the betterment of all.”

“I see opportunity in every challenge.”

“When I fail, I only look at what I did right.”

“I’ll never take advice from someone more messed up than I am.”

The readings continued, and so did the change in my attitude. There is great power in the words we speak to ourselves, and by the time I was done – I did feel better and begin to think on the things I could do to be effective and successful that day. I had once of the most productive days ever. I have never forgotten that lesson.

*The card is produced by Tom Hopkins International and can be found here: Shower Card

Labels: blogging, emotion, life on life's terms, word play

I love a well turned phrase or saying. Be it of colloquial origin or something crafted in context, clever phrases interest me.

My mother punctuates many of her statements with, “Don’t Ya Know?” It isn’t intended so much as a question as a way of emphasizing a fact as she has stated it.

My grandmother is known for coining the phrase, in a moment of Southern Bell disgust second to none, “That just makes my ass want a cup of coffee.” I’m not sure how it means what it means, but there is no doubt what it means.

One of my colleagues often would say he was, “Frosted Flakes Great!” That one needs little explanation.

And, although I’m not sure of the origin in my own family mythology, somewhere I picked up the proclamation that one can be “Finer than frog hair.”

Do you have any such turned, twisted or mangled phrases you can share? Feel free. Why it would be “gooder than snuff and not half as dusty,” I’m sure!

Labels: word play

A few years back, I developed the habit of inserting carefully chosen words into my speech in order to demand those within ear shot attend to the task of actually listening. I especially enjoy using commonly known but uncommonly used words when answering the harmless question, “How are you?” Faced with an unexpected response and a smile, people will almost always break from their non-thinking routine into a real human exchange. I like offering that to the people in my world and find that they seem to like it, too.

Here are 5 of my favorites.

1. Stellar

2. Splendid

3. Grand

4. Outstanding

5. Delightful

The added bonus – when I tell people I am stellar, I often discover I am!

Labels: blogging, word play

Labels: blogging, quotes, spirituality, word play

The words of his that are most likely familiar to you are “The cat is in the cradle and the silver spoon – little boy blue and the man in the moon – when you coming home dad – I don’t know when - but we'll get together then son...”

Harry Chapin stands alone in my mind with the few true storytellers in the music profession. His music is not only made of melodies that can be as haunting as inspiring, but of words, beautifully crafted words that cast a spell of magic – taking the listener on a journey into themselves, into life lived and life often lost. He was a troubadour of American life at the time when we needed a voice of conscience. Most of his songs were too long for radio broadcast, so only those willing to invest time in an album or a concert truly got to know Harry Chapin. If you don’t know his music, give him a listen – it will be unlike anything being written and sung today.

A consummate entertainer, Harry Chapin died early in an auto crash in 1981. He was an advocate for political change, ending hunger and human rights. He was awarded the Congressional Gold Medal after his death, in 1987.

Of his songs, I recommend to you – “A Better Place to Be,” “I Wanna Learn a Love Song,” and “W*O*L*D” to get you started.

Labels: blogging, sacred moments, songs, word play, writing

Labels: blogging, social networking, tweets, twitter, word play

Labels: blogging, emotion, gender stuff, poetry, sacred moments, word play, writing

Yoda said it this way, “There is no try. Only do or do not.”

Nike said, “Just Do It!”

The word is out, and yet we too often keep using it. My days are busy rushing to get things done, and someone asks me to do one more thing. Instinctively, I hedge my commitment with, “I’ll try.” A colleague offers a valid improvement in my technique and suggests that I make a change. Hesitantly I agree, “O.K. I’ll try.”

The difference e between saying “try” and “do” may seem subtle, but it is powerful.

Find a pencil or pen right now.

Yes. Really. Go find one.

Set the pencil on the table in front of you. Now ‘try’ and pick it up. Fact is, either you did it, or you didn’t. Yoda is right. There is no try. Try is something we are not committed to doing.

My suggestion for today is that we stop saying ‘try’ and make the commitment to do things we need to do, or simply want to do. Proclaiming “I’ll do it” may lead us to failure, but failure is the friction that makes success possible – and that is another post…

Do It!

Labels: life on life's terms, meanderings, word play, writing

The theme of this website proclaims “It begins with words….” I believe in the power of words, but not just the obvious power of words that hurt or console, I believe words are woven into every fiber of our existence. Words, properly understood can reveal intent and affect outcomes. Even a small change in a phrase or word choice can have a powerful affect on our lives.

Take the word “but” for example. We use it often, “I understand that, but I think it’s deeper than that.” “I want to, but I’m too tired.” “Yes you did, but that’s not what I meant.” The power of the word ‘but’ is that it negates anything said before it. Someone said once, “’But’ is the great eraser. It erases the value of anything before it.”

It is my observation that there is no better fuel for an argument than a hefty and well placed “BUT!”

I find it very interesting to practice using another word than “but.” Try “and” for example. “And” is a good alternative it makes an acknowledging, respectful way to add another piece of information or perspective to a statement.

“I understand you feel that way, and I still want you to get it done.”

“Yes you did, and that isn’t what I meant.”

“I want to, and I’m too tired.”

Using “and” gives value to both statements and allow us to add information and often depth to a conversation in a nonthreatening fashion. We can acknowledge what someone has said and then add our perspective.

I’ve tried to eliminate the word “but” from my daily speech. It takes some practice and it seems worth the effort. Give it a try. Let me know what happens.

Labels: blogging, emotion, word play

Labels: blogging, facebook, word play, writing

Labels: emotion, poetry, word play

Labels: blogging, emotion, family, gender stuff, meanderings, prose, word play, writing

Spend some time with someone who gets under your skin.

When I as in college, among the various subjects I studied was physics. I remember very little of that complicated subject, but one concept that sticks with me is that in order to have movement, friction is necessary. Just a quick jaunt down memory lane to the last time my truck as ‘stuck’ in the mud and I fully understand the need for friction in order to move.

The need for friction makes sense in physics. In order for an object, a car for example, to move from one point to the next, friction must exist for there to be sufficient traction for movement to happen. There are obviously many more factors - laws even - at work in the equation needed to get that car moving, but my point about the necessity of friction make sense easily enough.

What brings me to this – and what this is about, really – is pondering the need for friction on an interpersonal level as we attempt to move through life. Without stretching the analogy beyond recognition, I have thought quite a bit recently about how even though I often choose to be around like-minded people, very often it is when I am face-to-face with an individual or idea that just grates on my nerves that I become most passionate, and I know passion moves me. Isn’t it true that we often hone ourselves against the wet-stone of contrast?

So, I hang out this thought today – Should I intentionally seek out times to be around a person, place or thing that I know irritates me? Is a possible solution to ease, and perhaps apathy as simple as forcing myself to experience something I am against?

Should I spend time periodically with someone who gets under my skin?

Labels: life on life's terms, prose, spirituality, word play, writing

The Thinning of One

If I am not careful

With my thoughts

My ideas

Plans

Dreams

I will become thin

On artistic endeavors

Of creativity

Possibilities

Virility

Thin

Is transparent

Lifeless etching

Labels: emotion, gender stuff, life on life's terms, poetry, word play, writing

Your now seldom trodden paths fall under new feet, withstanding each impact of soul and sole, bearing up upon unyielding and ancient rock the weight of another exploration, an adventuring spirit, another of the millions of creatures that you have felt wander across your very spine, and with thoughtless query your impatient question of 800,000 years rises again...

Will this be the one? Will this be only another impertinent and transient creature that errantly uses the earthy mystery of this space for gathering dirt and stone, or ripping foliage aside for consumption, or splattering in fury another's blood upon you hoping you will shroud its evil from detection? Or will this one impede human conquest and domination long enough to pause momentarily, stand still enough - long enough to allow your archaic message to creep from the core of this vain of our origination and stir as deeply within them as it resides within you, the tendril of impervious and undaunted myth that is your message?


NOTE: Written after walking the Blue Hole path in Bermuda.

Labels: meanderings, sacred moments, vacation destinations, word play

Labels: blogging, quotes, word play

Labels: blogging, emotion, family, life on life's terms, meanderings, poetry, songs, word play

Labels: Ellen DeGeneres, quotes, word play

Labels: quotes, word play

I'm a bit late with the second phase my public writing journey. Here is what I've 'carved' from the raw block of words - so far.

I grew up in Myrtle Beach, SC one of the largest beach tourist destinations on the east coast. In many ways I was a beach rat, spending my summers working at my family’s ocean front hotels and making friends with our weekly guests, and their daughters. Mine was a life filled with those summer days of youthful zeal, sun-tanned skin, wind blown hair and new beginnings. Every week was a new start with clean rooms and new guests. The four month vacation season dominated all that we did. It seemed that school, and all things winter, were simply the time we spent remembering or preparing for summer. Summer was our time. Summer was the time when we thrived economically and personally. I always lived in summer. The heat of the sun blazed down from the sky and up from the sand. The sea tossed its mist into our air and we breathed in the damp essence of life. Living so close to the sea, we drew our life from it day in and day out. The sea held us and brought life to us. Its vast reservoir, pulsing with each tide, offered to and collected from everything it touched. It is this giving and collecting, that I have witness many times.

The sea gives. My grandfather and father were both sailors. Their comfort with the sea and its gifts of food and fellowship were passed to me. I can remember the day my brother and I spent a day catching hundreds of small ‘spots’ only to face the task of scaling and cleaning them into the night. My grandfather taught us that day about finishing the tasks we started and about the sequence of work to reward. It was fun to catch. It was work to clean. We had to do both to eat. It was the sea, as it lingered in the marsh and inlets that gave us this opportunity.

The sea gives. I have witnessed many occasions of children and adults finding the sea for the first time. They had been inlanders all of their life and never seen the sea. That seems strange to me, even now. What a change of perspective that must be – to see the sea, to see and feel for the first time the sea from which we are created…

Labels: blogging, emotion, family, father's wisdom, sea, travel, word play, writing

Labels: quotes, word play

I attended a writer’s class recently for five weeks. Christopher Laney (writer, pilot and all around amazing human being) lead the group. I have struggled with writing. It isn't the need for stories to tell or a lack of love for words that holds me back, but one of my blocks is that I sit down to write and what comes out, for all of it’s potential, isn't that good. It has ‘good’ in it, but it just isn't the ‘perfect’ piece I would like to write – so, I write only rarely – when the inspiration bludgeons me to action.

Christopher shared an analogy with us. In the same way a sculptor must begin with a block of stone in order to carve a work of art, the writer must begin with a mass of words and begin the process of carving piece from them. I have been experimenting with this approach by writing free-form for 30-40 minutes and then slowly sculpting something from the mass of ideas and words generated in the free-form time.  I thought it might be fun to share one of these sculpting projects with you, so I have posted below the mass of words from which I will be seeking to carve something akin to an essay. I plan to post another phase of this next weekend, and I invite you to return and see what has been released from this writer’s block of word stone…

Rivers, oceans and streams collect things – rain, mud, branches, sand, and the dead. Dead birds, fish, people. He went to sleep with the fishes.

Time heals all wounds, well time allows for adequate decay, anyway. It softens, swells, expands until it pops- melts looses from its form (lets loose itself?) and changes into the collective. In water we are all borg – resistance is futile – really it isn't present at all.

Finally it becomes homogeneous – a mixture of all things , formless, laps with all tides and waves, a rocky cradle of the world’s mush – oatmeal of everything.

Some would say we came from the sea, an evolution of undaunted genetics that have to, must evolve – gather its one self and form to conform to demands of our own becoming. So with the waxing and waning, the tugging of the moon’s tidings upon us – a planetary massaging of our little planet – we have become this formed p[lace and these formed creatures, plants, people and things.

Some speak if coming from and returning to our creator, and if such is true then we are created by the hands of the sea. See then the sea in all of us? See all of us in the sea?

We do return to the sea – the splashing of childish play and delight (I witnessed many occasions of children and adults witnessing the sea for the first time – they have been in-landers all of their life and never seen the sea. That seems strange to me – what a change of perspective that must be – to see the sea, to see and feel for the first time the sea from which we are created?), the percussion of a dead body dropped form the pier, the trickle of mucus-like decay through soil, water tables and into the streams that feed the sea – we all return. We return and melt and blend in to the great sea – dissolved and transported.

Then some poor fool turns on a tap and drinks us.

Labels: blog games, blogging, emotion, family, life on life's terms, spirituality, word play, writing

Clinging to branches among the oaks

Timeless observer of time’s passing

You sway through breezes and revolutions

Directing humanity’s passage

As if orchestrating a divine symphony

With nothing but a wisp connecting you

To the lofty vantage from which you observe

Coy and unaffected

Your slight presence fans our dreams

As a winter wind stirs the smoldering fire

Little more than air feeds you

A hint of sea salt to spice your tasting

Of our adventures and chaos

You remain, lingering luscious

As the memory of a lover’s sigh

Eternally upon us

Labels: blogging, emotion, family, poetry, spirituality, travel, word play

Labels: blogging, emotion, gender stuff, quotes, word play

Labels: blog games, blogging, meanderings, tweets, twitter, word play

Labels: quotes, word play

The planes don’t bother me anymore. When I first started traveling to Raleigh, NC, the roar of the jets landing and taking off was disturbing. The first few nights, sleeping was impossible, rendered fretful by the random rumblings and vibrations. The deepest slumber couldn’t prevent their intrusions into my mind. Sporadically they bludgeoned me awake, torturing me in tension between denied sleep and imposed consciousness. Tonight I barely notice them, a transient drift of sound, a passing song. The planes don’t bother me anymore.

When does something bothersome get absorbed into our awareness and become normal? What shifts in our perceptions and understandings might allow us to accommodate such a change? Is it a slowly growing numbness like getting accustomed to cold ocean waters on a March morning? Does it happen more suddenly as if the nerves that carried crisp messages of pain suddenly misfired and went silent? Is it a choice? Do we choose to adapt one day and casually flip off the switch of caring? When does the new become old?

 What is that old saying? “The devil we know is better than the devil we fear?” No, that isn’t it, but I know there is one – something about new things becoming old things. “Something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue.” Yes. It is like getting married, in a way, when the new becomes familiar.

Getting married used to be, or at least we pretend it used to be, a rite of passage when many things formally taboo suddenly, in the blink of an eye, the moment of a kiss and the placement of a ring, are turned to sacred and expected to become normal. Permission from some higher authority gives us consent and instantly we change. Yet, it doesn’t happen so quickly. It takes time for us to travel from the something new to the something old, the familiar something.

We travel, though, finding ways to understand, cope, and even accept things that once surprised us. The towel left on the floor every morning, tucked away in the corner between the tub and the wall annoys us. At first we discuss and argue over the silliness of it.

“Why don’t you just hang it up?”

“I don’t know. I’ll pick it up next time.”

The next time it does get hung neatly on the rack, but soon the ‘next time’ gets lost and there’s the tossed towel, again; a damp, lifeless testimony to some inability to change. Then there comes a moment when we realize that this is a small thing, after all, and there are so many, must be so many, bigger than damp towel things. So we adjust. The cap gets left off the toothpaste and we manage to stop seeing it. The crumbs settle into the sheets and we grow accustomed to the little nuisances, simply brushing them aside to scatter somewhere else.

It isn’t a problem, really, accommodating the nuances of another, is it? Most would say, “No.” But, we have seen it matter. Sometimes it costs us too much.

Who knows when it happened to Sally? Somewhere between the something new and the something old she lost herself. Somewhere beyond the damp towel and a routine of rage she found herself staring at the barrel of a gun pointed at her like an accusing finger, like his finger. She trembled with fear. She stood there with a docile acceptance that kept her stationary when running should have been an option. It was her passive, undaunted acceptance that did her in. The bullet launched from the barrel and punctuated its own message through her skull and brain and into the plaster. She had accommodated too much. Some higher authority had been heard by her alone and commissioned her journey from startling to familiar, too far.

It is a precarious route we maneuver when we make those things new into things old, when we cease to be surprised and alarmed by the unkempt towels, loud noises in the dark and the violations of our peace. Sometimes we travel too far. Tonight I find myself wondering what else has found its passage to benign acceptance in my world along with the planes that don’t bother me anymore.

Labels: blogging, emotion, family, life on life's terms, word play, writing

Labels: blogging, quotes, word play

Labels: blogging, poetry, spirituality, word play

Words are abundant and free flowing, tokens tossed into our lives, plentiful, over available loud and empty cases more often than not. We throw them around like a used tea bag or an under valued cap that we flipped onto the floor only later to be kicked under the bed thoughtlessly when walking past, devoted to more important things, left there to settle into uselessness with the dust mites and pet dander.

Hello, how are you?

Good, you?

What are you doing?

I know that, but…

New and improved

Do you have a minute?

Whatever you want to do

It isn’t about the money

I love you

Yet, when the words are spoken at the right time, a time book ended between mutual struggles, and collective losses gathered along the common road of years battling commonality and mediocrity and when those words are spoken between you and that now dear and dying friend or quoted to you by someone who heard them spoken of you by that same collaborator of greatness – then those words mean more than the very life into which they are spoken.

Such was my day, today.

Labels: blogging, emotion, family, life on life's terms, spirituality, word play

Labels: blogging, emotion, exercise, hiking, life on life's terms, poetry, spirituality, word play

Labels: emotion, quotes, spirituality, word play

Labels: blogging, emotion, meanderings, poetry, spirituality, word play

We are far enough into the New Year that I have heard and read my fair share of New Year’s posts and opinions.  I guess I’ll take a moment and share my thoughts.

Often I find myself looking in to the New Year and thinking about what new things I want to accomplish. Resolutions are often about what we want to make different in our lives: loose ten pounds, run a marathon, get a better job, save money, reduce debt, stop smoking, etc. There are a few things I hope to accomplish this year, and the truth is that my bets hope of accomplishing these new things isn’t a magical New Year’s resolution. 

I do well to look not so much at what I want to change, but what I am currently doing that is working. Even a momentary reflection on the characteristics of my life that contribute to my success reveals simple habits that, while often difficult to follow, are essential to getting anything done. This year I am beginning with a New Year’s Renew list. I am renewing my commitment to the habits and actions that are a part of my success and then looking at a few things I want to accomplish with these proven, daily habits. The difference is that I am focusing on resolute living rather than living a list of resolutions.

Resolute Living

1. Each day I will decide to abstain from alcohol and other drugs. I have made this choice daily since July 10, 1999 and it has made all the difference in my life
   
2. Pray each morning for “Knowledge of God’s will for me and the power to carry that out.”
3. Respect other peoples (and my) time – be where I have agreed to be when I have agreed to be there. I am not perfect at executing this, but I am committed to the value of it.
4. Be mindful of the Rotary Four-Way Test – Of The Things We Say and Do
1. Is it the Truth?
2. Is it fair to all concerned?
3. Will it build good will and better friendships?
4. Is it beneficial to all concerned?

5. Listen to others and seek to understand their point of view.
6. Pay my bills on time.
7. Exercise multiple times each week.
8. Keep my weight between 145-155lbs.
9. Take the medications prescribed by my doctor as prescribed.
10. Hike.
11. Get a full night’s sleep (6-8 hrs) most nights.
12. Read books for fun.
13. Read books for education.
14. Maintain a blog.
15. Save some money each month.
16. Tell jokes (no matter how lame).
17. Read the comics.
18. Volunteer to help others in some way every month.
19. Work the steps of the simple program that I have chosen to help me better live my life.
20. Never take the advice of someone more messed up than I am.
21. Write about the creative ideas and images that move me.
22. Work faithfully and dependably for my income.
23. Take a vacation with my wife. 

Resolutions for 2009 

1. Attend a writing workshop/class.
2. Speak publicly ten times.
3. Submit something written for publication.
4. Hike the Alum Cave Trail.
5. Purchase a new Audio/Video system for the den.

I am sure there is more, but this is what I have for here, for now…

Labels: 2009, blogging, emotion, exercise, family, hiking, music, poetry, spirituality, travel, vacation destinations, word play, work out

Labels: emotion, poetry, spirituality, word play

Dang it Dena! I would have been more than able to create a new post, but NO you had to demand one. Now, I am at a total loss… well, when in doubt, REPOST!

Announcing the return of my first post from the New Year in 2005! I quote…

"A friend told me this today.

"Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea."

I just thought I would share."

Labels: 2009, blogging, gender stuff, life on life's terms, meanderings, pets, spirituality, word play

Labels: blogging, Christmas, life on life's terms, spirituality, word play

Labels: Einstein, quotes, word play

Her hair

Strummed by tears

Falls a mess upon the pillows

The blues

Broadcasted in waves

Washes him down off her

The morning will find her empty, but clean.

Labels: emotion, gender stuff, life on life's terms, poetry, songs, spirituality, word play

Labels: emotion, life on life's terms, meanderings, poetry, spirituality, word play

Labels: Laurelyn Dosset, music, poetry, Polecat Creek, songs, word play

Labels: blogging, emotion, hiking, poetry, songs, travel, word play