Kim's Korner: A Place for Words

Thursday, March 11, 2010

I Don't Remember Being Forgetful

Let me just first say that my memory isn't that bad. In fact I have an excellent track record of memorizing lines for plays, poetry, and countless talks, speeches and other messages. However, if you ever visit my family down in South Carolina, within 15 minutes you will begin to hear stories about my childhood and one of them will no doubt be about my forgetfulness.

There was the time when I was 7 or 8 years old that my mother sent me to the front yard to empty the waste basket into the large metal outdoor trash can. For those too young to remember (there's that memory again) they look like this.

So, out I went to empty the trash and apparently while on my way back to the house I came across one of the neighborhood dogs wandering through our front yard. Dogs wandered in those days (can you imagine that, or do you need another photo).

Now it seems perfectly reasonable to me that a 8 year old boy would stop and play with a readily available dog. The story, as my mother tells it - endlessly - is that i came back inside (after a prolonged time) happy and clueless of the fact that I had left the waste basket in the front yard. Therefore, I am forever deemed "forgetful."

To me it is a simple case of priorities. Which is more important: an empty waste basket, or a wandering dog?

That's my story and I'm sticking to it - like white on rice.

Labels: blogging, family, life on life's terms, stories, writing

Saturday, March 06, 2010

Beautiful Day

One day last month I had the privilege of meeting not one but two of North Carolina's nicest and most beautiful women: Nadia Moffett, Miss North Carolina USA and Lauren Ashley, Miss North Carolina Teen USA. As you can see, I was thrilled.

What is more, both ladies were well spoken, professional and honored by their role.

Lauren Ashley, Miss NC Teen USA

Nadia Moffett, Miss NC USA

Labels: blogging, life on life's terms, meanderings, social networking

Sunday, February 28, 2010

An Open Letter to Hallmark

Dear Hallmark:

Thank you for your wide and creative selection of cards. As a man, it is most helpful that you provide me with cards that speak of love, commitment, passion and adoration between a husband and wife. At each season and holiday, when I reach to purchase a card – I am glad you have thought through these details for me.

I would like to make one request, however. Can you please not design these cards to appeal to me just in order to sell them? Yes, I like brown, tan and other earth tone colors. I am a bit uncomfortable holding flowery, glitter laden and sparkling cards that sing love songs. And yet, even at the risk of making me uncomfortable can you NOT design any cards that will result in my wife saying – “How nice. You picked this one because you like the colors – didn’t you?” I promise I will buy whatever you sell, just help me out will you?

Sincerely,

Theguythatlikesearthtones…

Labels: gender stuff, life on life's terms, stories, writing

Saturday, February 27, 2010

Can Kim Come Out and Play?

"One of the most obvious facts about grownups to a child is that they have forgotten what it is like to be a child." - Randall Jarrell

I know many creative adults, and I think adults – as a whole – get a bad rap. We are creative, fun, innovative and playful creatures. The idea that adults, by virtue of their age and place in society, have lost the desire or ability to be playful and creative is bunk. Bunk I say!

Even the most conservative minded business professionals I know are ready to laugh and dream if given a moment to do so. Perhaps it is the fact that children who grow up must develop some ability to set aside play and work through periods of methodical and measureable activity that is seen and misunderstood as losing the child-like gleam of creativity. Just because we can suspend fantasy doesn’t mean we have lost it – or its power.

The perspective of a child might be that we are not willing or able to play, when in fact it may not be a smart time to lay aside work and reason for fancy. The challenge, for us as adults, isn’t so much to learn how to play. Our challenge is learning when to play (enough) and when to be serious and analytical – and even that statement isn’t right because good creativity is often hard, detailed work. The issue is about balance in how we spend our time, how we rest and relax, work and produce and remain energized spiritually.

Carl Jung reportedly scheduled time each day, for a period of years, to simply go outback of his home and play. This play allowed him to better free his inner creative self and in some measure reinforced the most profound pieces of his thinking – his work.

I guess I’m advocating that we give a little thought to how much time we are spending in the realms of the adult and child each week… I’m just saying.

Labels: blogging, life on life's terms, quotes, spirituality

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

IF, by Rudyard Kipling

I was named after the book Kim, by author Rudyard Kipling. Early in my childhood, my mother introduced me to one of his poems. It has always challenged and inspired me in life.

If you can keep your head when all about you

Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,

If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,

But make allowance for their doubting too;

If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,

Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,

Or being hated, don't give way to hating,

And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;

If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;

If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster

And treat those two impostors just the same;

If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken

Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,

Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,

And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings

And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,

And lose, and start again at your beginnings

And never breathe a word about your loss;

If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew

To serve your turn long after they are gone,

And so hold on when there is nothing in you

Except the Will which says to them: 'Hold on!'

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,

' Or walk with Kings - nor lose the common touch,

if neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,

If all men count with you, but none too much;

If you can fill the unforgiving minute

With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,

Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,

And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son!

-Rudyard Kipling

Labels: emotion, family, father's wisdom, life on life's terms, poetry, word play, writing

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Quit or Endure?

So, how do you know if it’s time to quit?

I started a Novice Yoga class five weeks ago. I have made it to three classes. I missed the last two for work reasons, and this week isn’t looking too good. The truth is I don’t really want to go. Here’s my problem – I don’t know if I should quit.

I know there are times when it is “good for me” to push through resistances to activities that are good for me. I often have exercised when I didn’t feel like it. I have eaten fresh foods when I wanted less healthy options. Yoga is good for me. I feel good after each class. I can’t say that I enjoy Yoga. I don’t really look forward to going and I’m not motivated to practice between sessions or improve my postures – other than when I am actually in the class. Yet, the once weekly class can’t do anything but help me with flexibility and strength – both things I need.

Am I being a wimp? Am I fighting progress? I don’t really know. Is it time to “man-up” and go or quit?

Labels: emotion, exercise, life on life's terms, stories, work out

Saturday, February 13, 2010

Simply Move

Hanging on the wall in my office, there is a picture of a tree that changes color and definition to reflect the four seasons. As you walk by the angle of the print causes the tree to shift from a winter scene of bare branches and snow, through sprouting spring foliage, the full greening of summer and then the autumn leaves of fall. From my desk seat, it always looks like autumn.

I like seeing the different images of the picture. The variety, changing colors and images offers a nice change from what is often the static unchanging art of an office space. There are times when I will just move to a different place in my office to see and enjoy the picture differently. It isn't that I don’t like seeing the fall tree, I do. I like seeing the other images, too.

Here’s my thought: My living is often the same way. It is easy to settle into the same routine, the same patterns of moving through life and soon – everything seems to look stagnant. In the same way I have to get up and move to a different place in my office to see the variety of the tree picture, I can move to a different place in my living to see life with new colors.

From a simple move, like visiting a different coffee shop, to a more dramatic change, like ending or starting a new relationship, we can experience the very different seasons of our living. I’m not advocating change for change sake, but I am encouraging myself to remember that sometimes I need t move a little and change my perspective in order to appreciate the rich variety of life.

I sat in a meeting yesterday with a successful local entrepreneur – a very rich man. He was clearly tired, almost exhausted throughout the meeting. After we had finished our business discussions, the conversation shifted as he explained his fatigue. He had spent the previous evening volunteering at a local homeless shelter. As he begin to tell the tale of his time helping others that night his energy lifted, his spirit soared and the conversation moved me to a different place. The business of life glowed more brightly than the drab hues of the previous conversation about his business.

Get up. Move. See. Enjoy.

Labels: blogging, emotion, life on life's terms, meanderings, word play, writing

Tuesday, February 09, 2010

Another Stranger I'll Never Know

Her head turned and she gazed over her shoulder, across the red silk of her blouse, rippled by the tilt of her head, the pivot of her neck. Her jade eyes, clear and moist, seemed to find mine and I felt a stirring of hope, a long absent curiosity. I wondered about speaking to her, just a word to break the translucent expectations that divided us, that had always divided us and made us strangers. My mind raced to summon the right words. My legs flexed to stand, to walk.

She turned, her hair sliding back into place along her back, bouncing, as if swaying to the final measure of some distant rhythm, and she was gone – again.

Labels: emotion, life on life's terms, meanderings, prose, word play, writing

Friday, January 22, 2010

10 Observations from Novice Yoga Class

Innocently, I attended my wife’s Yoga class Christmas party in December and found myself the winner of a 6 free Yoga classes door prize. Not to be wasteful, I offered the prize to her. Being the kind, beneficent and mean person that she is, my wife assured me that it was only good for me to use. Last night was the first “novice” Yoga class available since then, and I attended.

10 Observations from Novice Yoga Class

1. If I was 25 years old and single – Novice Yoga class is the place to be. 17 students. Two males.

2. Women KNOW men are nervous about Yoga. I’m just saying.

3. Yoga is a very personal experience that blends mental, physical and spiritual activity.

4. Yoga makes you thirsty – take water.

5. If I was 25 years old and single – Novice Yoga class is the place to be. 17 students. Two males.

6. Men, say what you will, but Yoga – even Novice Yoga - “isn’t for wimps.”

7. I’m already sore in place I didn’t know I had (or forgot about).

8. If I was 25 years old and single – Novice Yoga class is the place to be. 17 students. Two males.

9. The Yoga Gallery in Winston-Salem, NC is a kind place.

10. I’ll be going to all of the free classes, (and did I mention, if I was 25 years old and single – Novice Yoga class is the place to be).

Labels: exercise, gender stuff, life on life's terms, spirituality

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

The Two Greatest Communication Techniques Known In The Universe

I have spent a good deal of energy developing my ability to communicate with others. I have spoken to thousands of people (sometimes at once), conducted countless one-on-one meetings for purposes that range from pastoral counseling to sales appointments, and I am a father and husband. Much of my life has been – as has yours – spent communicating with others.

I would like to offer to you today, what I consider to be the two greatest tools for successful and effective communication.

1. Listening – the saying had been offered “You have two ears and one mouth so you should listen twice as much as you talk.” Am I listening? Here’s an exercise I find helpful. After you have had a conversation with someone, write down everything you can remember about them and what they said. It might surprise you how little you heard. The art of suspending internal commentary in preparation for speaking in order to hear what is being said – is an art often under developed. Try listening and then repeating what you are hearing for confirmation.

2. Questions – there is a lost skill among us; the ability to ask a quality question. Ask people about themselves, what they would like to achieve, why they are here, what their goals are or just what they plan to do today. These and any number of countless questions are the key to understanding and setting a stage for sound communication.

Your turn! What helps you succeed in communication?

Labels: life on life's terms, word play

Monday, January 18, 2010

You Change Your Attitude Now

“The greatest discovery of any generation is that a human being can alter his life by altering his attitude.” –Williams James

I spent 8 years in higher education, 15 years beyond that as a pastor for a mainline denomination, and studied human psychology, pastor counseling and theology. It took a man with no more than a high school education and a background in construction to teach me something real about people, about me.

I was having a bad day and it wasn’t even 10:00 am. I’d had an argument with my wife. My children were not behaving the way I wanted them to, and my work schedule for the day was so packed that I knew I wouldn’t be able to get all of it done. My brain hurt, my back hurt and I pretty much hated everything and everybody at that moment.

My boss at the time took note of my very bad attitude and asked me to come into his office. I did. He listened to my story and then paused before saying, “You have two choices this morning. You can stay pissed and have a sorry day, or you can do something about your attitude.” He reached in the desk drawer and handed me a card* that resembled one of those “do not disturb” door hangers. On the front and back were a series of saying, positive affirmations. He told me to take it and if I wanted to change my attitude to read the sayings out loud on the way to my first appointment for that day. My attitude wasn’t very receptive. I thought of all the psychological cliques that I knew. I thought about how what I was going through was much bigger than a few clever and witty sayings. I thought of a hundred reasons why his suggestion was, at best, inadequate. I didn’t challenge him. I took the card and headed for the truck. As I walked out of his office he said one more thing, “I bet you’re too chicken to try it.”

I smiled and for some reason warmed up to the idea of proving him wrong. On the way to my first appointment, I read them out loud:

“I will win. Why? I’ll tell you why – because I have faith courage and enthusiasm.”

“Today I will meet the right people in the right place at the right time for the betterment of all.”

“I see opportunity in every challenge.”

“When I fail, I only look at what I did right.”

“I’ll never take advice from someone more messed up than I am.”

The readings continued, and so did the change in my attitude. There is great power in the words we speak to ourselves, and by the time I was done – I did feel better and begin to think on the things I could do to be effective and successful that day. I had once of the most productive days ever. I have never forgotten that lesson.

*The card is produced by Tom Hopkins International and can be found here: Shower Card

Labels: blogging, emotion, life on life's terms, word play

Saturday, January 16, 2010

A Life Long First

January 15^th, 2010 at approximately 7:45 pm, I saw something I have never seen before (and likely will never see again) in my life.

My wife and I were ready to leave to go up town for dinner. We let the dogs out into the back yard. My dog ran quickly to the far corner of the lot, stopped by the fence and began barking – continuously and frantically. He kept at it, ignoring my calls and whistles until I had to walk down to get him. It was dark, and although I couldn't see anything, I could hear the leaves being rustled just on the other side of the fence. I couldn't imagine what would be so brave as to continue just a few feet away from a barking dog and a person.

I went back inside and got a flashlight and my wife and we walked down the yard to see. What the light reveal were two opossum, locked in what could be called a “passionate embrace.” Yes, I have seen, with mine own eyes – mating marsupials.

You just don’t see that everyday.

Labels: life on life's terms

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Just Regular Please

No thank you. I do not want it super sized, mega-made, biggied or mutated. I just want this day regular, normal, simple, as it arrived…

I have had enough of different, trying, intense, involved, complicated, volatile and demanding for the time being.

I'll take a normal day. Thank you.

Labels: blogging, emotion, life on life's terms, spirituality

Friday, January 08, 2010

10 Observations While Having Pneumonia

1. You CAN watch too much CSI

2. You can cough until you puke

3. You can be hungry and too tired to eat

4. Soup is good. Chili not so much

5. Prednisone is an evil drug

6. This isn't my body and I want out

7. Coughing can make you sore in places you didn't know you had

8. It would be helpful if you didn't actually have to breath

9. It is a good time to grow beard

10. My wife is a saint

Labels: common cold, family, life on life's terms, meanderings

Tuesday, January 05, 2010

3 People I Would Like To Find On Facebook

There are a couple of people I have lost touch with over the years that I would love to reconnect with and have NO earthly idea how to find them. My list is below. What’s yours and why?

1. Sharon Stewart – my first love. She and her parents use to vacation at my grandparents hotel every summer. We ‘dated’ for one week every year for years. I know she got married, but have no idea of her married name.

2. Frank Ford – now there’s a name too common to search for. Frank and I were best buds in Military School. We lost touch a few years after high school. He always made me laugh.

3. Laura Harris – one of the kindest, thoughtful people I ever knew. Her father was the doctor that brought me into this world. Laura went off to the College of Charleston and we lost touch after college.

So, what about you?

Labels: blogging, facebook, life on life's terms

Friday, November 27, 2009

Top 15 Southern Holiday Gathering Truths

1. That favorite dish your mom makes is still as good as you remember.

2. Somebody in the family is in trouble with the law again this year.

3. You are probably the only one driving a Honda.

4. Smoking is still expected inside at all times.

5. There is NOT, no matter how much we talk about it, an annual family tradition.

6. You will be expected to participate in the annual family tradition.

7. You are expected at Christmas if you didn’t visit for Thanksgiving.

8. Football will be explained with hunting analogies.

9. Hunting will be explained with football analogies.

10. There will be no raw, steamed, green or leafy vegetables at the holiday table.

11. There is always something that needs to be fetched from the store.

12. You will talk for hours and never really say anything.

13. No matter how hard you try not to, you will spend hours trying to figure out what everyone is really saying.

14. You are related to everyone there and you won’t know several people.

15. Everyone there loves each other as best they know how.

And, You will either leave this holiday gathering thinking your family is a dysfunctional tragedy or the funniest assortment of people you could ever imagine – it totally depends on you.

Labels: Christmas, emotion, family, life on life's terms, vacation destinations

Saturday, November 21, 2009

Home Coming of Female Progeny

My daughter, now living in L.A., is coming home for a Thanksgiving visit. She arrives today.

We have a tradition of sorts - breakfast together at The Bagel Station. I'm hungry already!

Labels: coffee, emotion, life on life's terms

Monday, November 16, 2009

What Makes a Woman Beautiful?

There is little in this world more beautiful than someone who takes care of themselves in order to be able to care for someone else.

I overheard a woman discussing her recent workout routine with a friend. Her goal was to increase her upper body strength in order to better lift and care for her handicapped child.

Beautiful woman.

Labels: emotion, exercise, gender stuff, life on life's terms, sacred moments, work out

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Waving Goodbye

A Child

Pats the water with her foot

Ripples

Spread gently, caressing the surface

Gliding outward, searching for shore

Fading to smooth

Tiny toes

Break the fluid plain

Movement

Life upon the stillness

Reaching

Longing

Hoping for a place to land

Again and again

Each gentle touch fades

Weakened waves reaching

Never touching the distant sand

Destination

SPLASH!

Surges churn turbulence of sea

Arms and legs violate the stillness

Liquid rage calls

To the depths

Unknown concentric waves

Demanding, diminishing, stopping

Stillness

Descending shimmers

Calming the spot

Closing the circle

Cessation

Now

On a distant shore

Small ripples lap the sand

Lap the sand

Home

-Once, an Adolescent that I knew took her own life. This poem is dedicated to Cathy.

Labels: life on life's terms, poetry, sacred moments, writing

Friday, October 23, 2009

My Life Is Waffle House!?

It is very interesting what one can learn from listening.

I treated my appetite and ignored my need for low a cholesterol diet (shhhh! If you don’t tell my doctor, it doesn’t count), and had breakfast at Waffle House "the other day." As I ate, I listened.

Karen is in her mid thirties, has two children and hates it when her kids stay home for snow days. She drives an older Nissan. She has a small space between her two front teeth that she tries to hide by rolling her lip over them when she is laughing. It doesn’t work.

The cook, an all but kid in his twenties, plans to get his GED this year and then study at the community college, or maybe join the Navy. He likes his job, and doesn’t cook rubber eggs. I think that is considered an accomplishment. I know my eggs were very tasty. I think his name is Mack, or Mick. He didn’t have on a name tag.

Betty is clearly the matriarch of the group. She smiles as she listens to the banter of the ‘younger’ staff. She moves effortlessly from one task to the next, often working ahead of the others. She greets regulars by their first name, or with a knowing nod. Her under the cuff comments to the others often brings a smile or a giggle. Betty is, and wants to be the Queen of the WaffleHouse.

As I sat at the counter, eating my cheese eggs, grits and butter soaked raisin toast, gazing at the laminated menu pictures of the many heart-stopping, artery clogging, cholesterol enhanced foods, this thought crossed my mind: Is there really a difference between any of our lives, other than the package that that life might reside in?

Labels: blogging, coffee, emotion, life on life's terms, meanderings, travel, writing

Monday, October 12, 2009

Time Will Tell

Situation: A couple, newly together, watches a DVD together. She falls asleep half-way through. The next morning he sends her an email…

“Thank you so much for last night. It is wonderful to have someone who thinks enough of me to watch what I wanted to see. I know you don’t like horror that much. You were obviously very tired. I’m delighted you were comfortable enough with me to fall asleep. I wore the same shirt today because you left a tiny bit of drool on my sleeve and I wanted to keep you close. See you tonight.”

Same couple, same evening, five years later…

“I don’t get you! Not only do you not care about anything I want to watch but you fell asleep on my favorite shirt and drooled all night! Next time, just go to bed. I’ll be home at 7:00.”

Same couple, same evening, 15 years…

“Enjoyed the movie. I dropped off the laundry (I got something on my shirt). Did you take the DVD back? Pick up something else when you go – one of your favorites this time. Oh, I’ll be home at 5:30, do you want to go out for dinner? You pick.”

Labels: blogging, emotion, gender stuff, life on life's terms, spirituality

Tuesday, October 06, 2009

The One Word for Access to Success

Yoda said it this way, “There is no try. Only do or do not.”

Nike said, “Just Do It!”

The word is out, and yet we too often keep using it. My days are busy rushing to get things done, and someone asks me to do one more thing. Instinctively, I hedge my commitment with, “I’ll try.” A colleague offers a valid improvement in my technique and suggests that I make a change. Hesitantly I agree, “O.K. I’ll try.”

The difference e between saying “try” and “do” may seem subtle, but it is powerful.

Find a pencil or pen right now.

Yes. Really. Go find one.

Set the pencil on the table in front of you. Now ‘try’ and pick it up. Fact is, either you did it, or you didn’t. Yoda is right. There is no try. Try is something we are not committed to doing.

My suggestion for today is that we stop saying ‘try’ and make the commitment to do things we need to do, or simply want to do. Proclaiming “I’ll do it” may lead us to failure, but failure is the friction that makes success possible – and that is another post…

Do It!

Labels: life on life's terms, meanderings, word play, writing

Saturday, September 26, 2009

I Found Myself Humming

I found myself

Humming into the mattress

With you

It was an accidental thing

An exhale that sent a slight vibration

Through the sheets

I enjoyed the sound

The sense

Of my humming

Beside you – with you

The vibrant ripples made me giggle

And roll joyfully

Leaving all tension and dis-ease

I found myself

Humming into the mattress

Thank you

Labels: emotion, family, life on life's terms, meanderings, music, poetry

Sunday, September 13, 2009

A Story to Tell...

The sun cast shadows upon the meadow, long tendrils entwining the branches of distant trees into a single shadow.

An aging warrior sat upon a rock overlooking the rolling fields that lead to his town and home, allowing his thoughts to cast their own shadows, collecting into one thought: "How much longer can I do this?"

With effort he lifted his weight and stood facing west. He felt the pain surge through his broken knee, again and the skin burn beneath newly forming scabs on his back. He stood and prayed aloud.

"Odin, my guard and guide. For 50 seasons I have live here. For 36 of these years I have fought the Beast into submission, sending its weakened body and depleted spirit back into the caves to sleep and heal through the winter. I wield sword and shield in Your name and provide safety for my home, my family, my village. Each year I fail to destroy the Beast and like the certainty of each spring it returns. I am tired and wounded and this time I fear tired beyond the recent battle and am wounded of not only body, but spirit. How long, Odin, how long can I continue?"

The warrior gave into his pain and stumbled again sitting, resting his hand on the hilt of his sword and brow upon his forearm. He could hear the music and singing beginning already, drifting across the darkening meadow in celebration of his apparent victory. He knew better. He knew that the beast would live and in a few months they would renew their battle, and he doubted his ability to endure. He felt not only the pain of his new injuries, injuries that would heal, but the weakness in his limbs from healed and scared damages of battles past.

Tonight the village would sing. Tankers of ale would be hoisted in his honor. The voices of maidens would sing and young men would weave another chapter in the tale of his valor. Their Hero was invincible. The winter would be safe.

But next season would come and the fight, his fight would continue.

A breeze lifted his thinning hair and he raised his head.

"Odin," He spoke almost a whisper, "Tonight we will celebrate. I will not worry about the aging of my bones, or the weakening of my strength. Tonight I will give you thanks for our victory, another year of safety. But, tomorrow I will not lift tankers of ale or songs. I will forget the victories of the past, and I will prepare for the battles to come. I will lift wet-stone and blade, shield and arm and back to the work of a warriors training. I will not quit. Odin, you have my word and my life."

As the last word drifted away on the breeze, a tired man stood and began walking to the village.

Note: This story came to me this weekend as I finished hours of yard work. The fall cooling of the air is here, and I was aware that the hard work of yet another summer is almost at end. The respite of the fall and winter will soon be here - only to give way, soon enough to another year... I know there are a limited number of years left in my life when I can manage the hard and relentless work of maintaining our home, and I wondered...

Labels: blogging, emotion, exercise, life on life's terms, prose

Tuesday, September 08, 2009

The Beach Remembers

The beach remembers

Lover's tastes and trash

And it can't forget

Too many breezes blow

In strong currents

And sand tossing tourists

Piles of humanity

Discarded playthings

And burnt butts

Cans crushed under foot

Seasoned among sea oats

And barley stained

His hands upon her

Rumpled sands swaying

And tides wetting

Every passion gets remembered

By the beach beneath us

And our trash

Labels: emotion, family, life on life's terms, meanderings, poetry, sacred moments, sea, spirituality, vacation destinations

Monday, August 31, 2009

Dangerous Passions?

A number of weeks back, several friends sent me the same link to a wonderful video of Elizabeth Gilbert speaking on the angst of artistic genius. I'm not purporting to be a genius, but I have had my share of artistic challenges.

My first true passion was acting. I felt more alive when acting, soaking up the spot light and wrestling with the nuances of character development than I did living my real life. I achieved some modest success while making acting my hobby throughout my life including some professional time with a North Carolina Shakespeare Company, and several cable-run commercials. During college I discovered creative writing and I've had a few article published (during my time as a pastor). Sermon writing, at its best, is a highly creative venue and I relished in both the creation and presentation of sermons for 15 years.

In each of my creative adventures, I discovered the same reality – satisfaction of the urge to create and the compulsion to be a part of something new and dramatic is fleeting.

Often, upon reflection on my own creative internal disturbance, I am left with the following apparent and unsavory thought - The creative spirit, as embodied in so many artists, is its own bane. The artist can devote his/herself to the task fully and in doing so risk a rapid burn or can deny the very passion of the soul and lead a life of frustrated mediocrity. My trouble with this thought is that I don’t want it to be true. Is it possible for an artist to pursue his passion and not self destruct? Is there something in the nature of art that demands the humanity of the artist and leaves her broken?

There is more to say here, but I would rather leave it for your comments. So, dear reader, is your artistic passion dangerous?

Labels: blogging, emotion, life on life's terms, meanderings, poetry, prose, writing

Sunday, August 23, 2009

Ride The Storm Out

Have you ever had to write?

I have.

There are times when the creative urge within us demands to be released and those of us that contain even the smallest creative tendency are imposed upon – it is a tempest. For these are the moments when the convergence of internal climates mock the posing power of even the most extreme external weather - for in these moments, the storm of passion assails us and we can but ride the storm out.

Sometimes the storm washes up marvelous beauty upon the sands for others to find as they walk by. Sometimes.

Labels: blogging, life on life's terms, meanderings, prose, sacred moments, spirituality, writing

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

A Pending Epitaph - Paint Me Not

Paint Me Not

Paint me not in shades of brilliant blue and red

Coloring over my misguided lines of glossy black

And smeared greys

Don’t layer me over with sentiment and morality

Forgetting my deformity of thought

And bare deeds

Have the fortitude to lay it out

As I was and am naked and old, withered

And decaying now

My life will be dust soon enough and should not be concealed while it can be revealed.

Note: Inspiration comes when it is ready. I was viewing a photo and a post over at MelodyWatson.com and somehow, my thoughts and feelings lead to the poem above...

Labels: blogging, emotion, family, life on life's terms, meanderings, poetry, writing

Sunday, August 16, 2009

Listening Badly

You don’t mean badly of it

Your constant chatter

About your thoughts, life moments

Ongoing strident tones

Filling every silence to brimming

I don’t mean badly of it

Listening half heartily

To worn tires chatting

Over tired pavement

Rhythms rising from empty drums

Labels: blogging, gender stuff, hiking, life on life's terms, poetry

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Row, Row, Row Your Boat

The other day I went on an eight day, seven night canoe trip with three other men through a section of the Okefenokee Swamp. I had never been on a canoe trip beyond a paddle in the local lake, so I was excited about spending some time doing manly things with other manly men in a manly environment. The swamp is home to snakes, alligators, wild mammals and amazing bird and other wildlife.

I wasn't disappointed. Everything that this type of adventure offers hit us full force, face-on impacting out lives and saturating our thirst for manly excitement and bonding. Perhaps I will share more about that trip someday, but this post isn't about the actual trip, it is about the beginning – the beginning of all things, in a way.

The four of arrived at our launch point and soon had our gear packed in the two canoes full to the top leaving barely enough room for each of us to sit – one in front and one in the rear of each canoe. We had to take everything we needed for the next eight day – food, tent, water, coolers, etc. we had gotten to the launch point later than we had expected and had to talk the ranger into letting us launch late, knowing that we would be pushing the end of daylight before we arrived at our camping platform hours away in the middle of the swamp. Once he saw us safely in the canoes and ready to shove off, her got in his truck and left. We were off!

What awaited us was to be the adventure we all had anticipated for months now. Days of gliding through still dark water, observing wild life, and risking health and hygiene for the sake of doing it! We had miles to go and only days to accomplish it in – the adventure was upon us. Paddles in hand…

Then I discovered one small problem. Although I understood the concept of steering a canoe in open water, I didn't know how. As the lead canoe launched into the swamp, my partner for the week began providing momentum for our travel from the front seat of the craft, while I sat in the back with the duel task of paddling and guiding our boat by using my paddle as a rudder, as well. We zigged. We zagged - and quickly lagged behind.

Point – If you are going to paddle a boat to an adventure, learn to paddle.

The lesson is simple enough, but how often do we get it wrong? Life is a journey – vocations, relationships, self actualization and countless other adventures await us, and how often do we impatiently launch into one thing or another with out taking the time to allow ourselves the learning we need to be able to successfully navigate the trip.

I’m not suggesting we have to be an expert before we try anything new. I am suggesting that some adventures need a mix of experience, maturity and competency before we jump into them. I’ll leave the specific applications of this ‘point’ to your own thought processes. I’ll also state that the greatest lesson I've ever learned is that if I’m going to navigate this vessel of my ‘self’ through life, I needed to spend some time learning the art of doing just that.

In the swamp that day, I had three experienced men who helped me learn what I needed to know – enough to get the boat straight and roughly on course. They never let me forget it, but we did make our first platform just after dark.

Labels: blogging, gender stuff, life on life's terms, meanderings, spirituality, travel, vacation destinations

Monday, August 10, 2009

The Other Day...

The other day… [STOP]

The post I was preparing to write needs to wait for a brief moment while I explain the phrase above – “The other day.”

I grew up in South Carolina. Along with sand fleas, mosquitoes and inbreeding, the south is known for several colloquial phrases. Where I come from, we know what “the other day” means, and it means something very specific.

“The other day” refers to a period of time that can be from yesterday to several decades past. The meaning, when used by a true Southerner, is to say “When it happened is something I am not prepared to commit to right now, and in fact when isn’t the damn point I’m trying to make and so don’t get hung up on when, or who even, just listen to what I’m getting ready to say next and know that it did in fact happen and it is important that you listen to the story and not get distracted by the facts -now.”

So when I say “the other day” I was listening to Oprah – it isn’t to tell you which episode or year so you can go back and watch it, I’m telling you that what I think about what I saw on Oprah “the other day” is something you need to know.

When I tell you “the other day” I was talking to Aunt Margie – it doesn’t matter that Aunt Margie has been dead for ten years; I’m telling you that she knew something that you need to know right now because it may save you a heap of trouble later.

And, most certainly, when your mother says to you “the other day” I was cleaning your room – be sure that what follows next will not be a discussion about which day ‘exactly’ it was but rather something much more critical to your living future…

I hope that helps. So, the other day…

Labels: emotion, family, father's wisdom, life on life's terms, meanderings, writing

Monday, August 03, 2009

What Wildness Comes Next?

Last night as my wife and I ate dinner at Wendy's in Brevard, NC (yes. I know we are big spenders), we overheard five ladies talking. Here is the truth.

1. They are all over 60.

2. They have dinner and play cards there at Wendy's every Sunday night after church -every Sunday.

3. They were feeling a bit racy last evening since they had 'skipped' church and started playing cards an hour earlier than usual.

Wild times in Brevard, I tell you. I'm not sure it is truly safe to be there on a Sunday evening! What will happen next - Dogs and cats sleeping together?

Seriously, I found the entire scene delightful and worthy of a movie script.

Labels: blogging, emotion, life on life's terms, travel, vacation destinations

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Just Not Feeling It

I am mostly a happy person. I enter each day with a determination to be positive, smile and find the opportunity in every challenge. Yes, I am one of those people.

Today, I wasn't able to make it happen. Nothing bad happened. Nothing monumental broke or went awry. Yet, I have found this day empty of enthusiasm and lacking in luster.

Chalk it up to "one of those days."

One of Those Days

Walking through cement

Wading in the swamp

Paddling up stream

Strolling up the down escalator

And

Simply not really caring about getting there

We are all allowed one of those days. Right?

Labels: emotion, life on life's terms, poetry, spirituality

Monday, July 27, 2009

Quoting

Those who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream only by night.
- Edgar Allan Poe

Labels: life on life's terms, quotes, sacred moments

Sunday, July 26, 2009

Website Troubles

There are style sheet imps and code gremlins playing badly among the pages of this site. So far, the blog layout is holding up, but the rest of the site is just doing an HTML version of the funky chicken.

Enjoy this page - while it last. Heh. Repairs forthcoming.

UPDATE: 07/27/09 @ 10:53 a.m.

All pages now reporting success!

Labels: blogging, life on life's terms

Sunday, July 19, 2009

Submerged

It is all gone now - the world of air breathing creatures and screaming sounds demanding, requiring something every moment of all days. Gone. This viscous shell into which I have plunged protects me and presents to me colors vibrant and dancing on the scales of fish and small bubbles of relief, ascending, taking with them each a small measure of my former dependence on demands and oxygen. I grasp razor edged rocks with delicate fingers ignoring pain for freedom and beauty of this moment. I will soon need to return, but not now – not for an eternity of heart beats measured in a few more clicks of the clock – the clock that ticks still, up there.

Labels: blogging, emotion, life on life's terms, travel, vacation destinations

Sunday, July 05, 2009

Skin Crawling

Spend some time with someone who gets under your skin.

When I as in college, among the various subjects I studied was physics. I remember very little of that complicated subject, but one concept that sticks with me is that in order to have movement, friction is necessary. Just a quick jaunt down memory lane to the last time my truck as ‘stuck’ in the mud and I fully understand the need for friction in order to move.

The need for friction makes sense in physics. In order for an object, a car for example, to move from one point to the next, friction must exist for there to be sufficient traction for movement to happen. There are obviously many more factors - laws even - at work in the equation needed to get that car moving, but my point about the necessity of friction make sense easily enough.

What brings me to this – and what this is about, really – is pondering the need for friction on an interpersonal level as we attempt to move through life. Without stretching the analogy beyond recognition, I have thought quite a bit recently about how even though I often choose to be around like-minded people, very often it is when I am face-to-face with an individual or idea that just grates on my nerves that I become most passionate, and I know passion moves me. Isn’t it true that we often hone ourselves against the wet-stone of contrast?

So, I hang out this thought today – Should I intentionally seek out times to be around a person, place or thing that I know irritates me? Is a possible solution to ease, and perhaps apathy as simple as forcing myself to experience something I am against?

Should I spend time periodically with someone who gets under my skin?

Labels: life on life's terms, prose, spirituality, word play, writing

Thursday, June 25, 2009

The Thinning of One

If I am not careful

With my thoughts

My ideas

Plans

Dreams

I will become thin

On artistic endeavors

Of creativity

Possibilities

Virility

Thin

Is transparent

Lifeless etching

On contemptuous bones

Labels: emotion, gender stuff, life on life's terms, poetry, word play, writing

Monday, June 15, 2009

Not Even Strange

It should have been a strange experience, but it wasn’t.

The room was filled with chatting and laughter. An arrangement of peculiar instruments were placed at one end of the room – didgeridoos, drums, crystal bowls, bull-roars, various flutes from around the world, chimes and items I could not identify formed a semi circle around two men.

My wife had arranged the evening, as she is prone to do, with certainty of purpose. She knows me, and she knows the likelihood of me pursuing such an event on my own is slim. She also knows that the reality of my appreciating and benefiting from such an experience is almost certain. We had registered and made our way back to the main room amid gathering people, nervous laughter, meaningful hugs and an atmosphere of escalating curiosity.

The group of us, about 15 in all, found our places; lying on the floor supported by various mats, pillows and blankets. After a brief explanation, the sounds began. This was advertised as an evening of sound and healing. Amid sometimes gentle and sometimes piercing sounds, I rested motionless and felt my way through the evening. Images came and went. Ideas floating in, some staying a while, and then out. I was sometimes aware of the movement and noises of others. Moments found me very aware of where I was and what was going on. Moments found me adrift in the twilight of relief. Then, as simply as it began, it stopped.

I listened as others shared of their experiences, stories of traveling to other places, regressing to previous life moments, journeying inward to spiritual realms. I understood much of what was shared – conceptually, at least. I just listened.

For me, it wasn’t about going anywhere. It was more about what came to me, and even that, the coming to me, I can’t really describe. What I can tell you is that I have slept wonderfully ever since. Something rode in on the waves of crystal bowls, and in the swirls of twirling blades, and through the chanting of ancient flutes. Something came gently on the tunes of voices and the rhythm of drums. Something of great value came and drifted through the discontinuity of my thoughts, images and sensations. It should have been a strange experience, but it wasn’t. The healing was, well, normal.

Good night.

Labels: blogging, emotion, family, life on life's terms, meanderings, prose, songs, spirituality

Sunday, June 07, 2009

Seeing Blue Sky for Her

It is a difficult blending of life, seeing her go. In a few short hours my daughter will be off to LA. The next few days will find her driving across this country, visiting with family and friends and arriving in her new hometown – LA, California.

She stayed here for college, so this is really the first real separation. It is odd. I have seen her travel to Spain for a semester, Guatemala for a mission trip, LA and NYC for long internships and I have relished in her adventure, her spreading her wings, her growth. Watching her adventurous spirit blend with a growing knowledge of her ability to succeed has been a joy.

This time is different. This time she is not experimenting with a trip or internship. This time she is making a way for herself, launching into her life, her life – her journey.

I sat outside just now, sipping coffee at the neighborhood Starbucks, reflecting, and feeling this moment. I am so very proud of her. I am excited for her. This beginning is exploding with possibilities for her. I am, as a father must be, worried for her – life is sometimes hard and I don’t wish hardship for her, although I am sure she will find her fair share. I already miss her.

As I look skyward, now, I see that the sky is blazing blue, being traced by the slow movement of wispy, bright white clouds, a wonderful canopy for her travel. The sky is beautiful today, even now, as seen through my tears.

Labels: blogging, family, life on life's terms

Sunday, May 31, 2009

Long Shadows

The long shadows stretch out, carving a swath into the close of the day. This day is more than the end of one more day, one more 24 hour period fading into the dusk of life and lingering in darkness before easing into the next. This day is his last day, the end, the final fading of life into that moment when the last step has been taken and the final period is written on the page – and so now, as the shadows creep into threads of night so long that they reach from horizon to horizon, he simply moves on… completing the task of washing the dishes, and letting out the cat.

Would he do anything differently in these last hours if he knew? Would his mind bother worrying about the loss of his retirement plans, or spend any energy concerned about the uniqueness his most recent proposal at work – hoping by it to attract the attention of his boss who happens to be a very attractive young and single woman? If he knew that even now each breath was moving him closer to the measurable possibility of counting his last breaths, even knowing the number of beats left for his heart, would he bother with anything at all?

He finds his way to bed, turning out the lamp and shifting to his right side as he always does, nestling his head into his too soft pillow, and curling his legs up to feel more completely the cat now nestled next to his stomach. His mind wanders about, replaying the events of the day as slowly his thoughts become less his own and a more independent, creative array of images begin molding their dream shapes, and fantasies for him as he slowly gives way to sleep.

Sometime during that night his heart stops its rhythm. He ceases everything, resting eternally beneath the long shadows, the pall of his end.

Labels: blogging, emotion, life on life's terms, meanderings, prose, spirituality

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Give Yourself 3 Minutes - NOW!

Labels: blog games, blogging, emotion, life on life's terms, meanderings, sacred moments, smile and move, spirituality

Friday, May 08, 2009

Pod Cast Me!

When I'm not blogging, writing, being poetic or quoting famous people, I earn a living as a sales professional. If you would like to have a glimpse into my work, click over to Sales Management 2.0 and have a listen.

Brad and Jerry (sounds like two cartoon characters, doesn't it?) are great hosts and gave me time to share about life, relationship skills and how to be a more effective communicator.

I had a GREAT time. Please join us here.

Labels: blogging, life on life's terms, meanderings, podcast, tweets

Saturday, May 02, 2009

Birthday Song

Today is my Birthday, so I'm singing this special birthday song.

"Thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis is your birthday song,

It isn't very long."

Bye.

Labels: blogging, emotion, family, life on life's terms, meanderings, poetry, songs, word play

Saturday, March 28, 2009

A Writer’s Block of Stone, Public Journey #001

I attended a writer’s class recently for five weeks. Christopher Laney (writer, pilot and all around amazing human being) lead the group. I have struggled with writing. It isn't the need for stories to tell or a lack of love for words that holds me back, but one of my blocks is that I sit down to write and what comes out, for all of it’s potential, isn't that good. It has ‘good’ in it, but it just isn't the ‘perfect’ piece I would like to write – so, I write only rarely – when the inspiration bludgeons me to action.

Christopher shared an analogy with us. In the same way a sculptor must begin with a block of stone in order to carve a work of art, the writer must begin with a mass of words and begin the process of carving piece from them. I have been experimenting with this approach by writing free-form for 30-40 minutes and then slowly sculpting something from the mass of ideas and words generated in the free-form time. I thought it might be fun to share one of these sculpting projects with you, so I have posted below the mass of words from which I will be seeking to carve something akin to an essay. I plan to post another phase of this next weekend, and I invite you to return and see what has been released from this writer’s block of word stone…

Rivers, oceans and streams collect things – rain, mud, branches, sand, and the dead. Dead birds, fish, people. He went to sleep with the fishes.

Time heals all wounds, well time allows for adequate decay, anyway. It softens, swells, expands until it pops- melts looses from its form (lets loose itself?) and changes into the collective. In water we are all borg – resistance is futile – really it isn't present at all.

Finally it becomes homogeneous – a mixture of all things , formless, laps with all tides and waves, a rocky cradle of the world’s mush – oatmeal of everything.

Some would say we came from the sea, an evolution of undaunted genetics that have to, must evolve – gather its one self and form to conform to demands of our own becoming. So with the waxing and waning, the tugging of the moon’s tidings upon us – a planetary massaging of our little planet – we have become this formed p[lace and these formed creatures, plants, people and things.

Some speak if coming from and returning to our creator, and if such is true then we are created by the hands of the sea. See then the sea in all of us? See all of us in the sea?

We do return to the sea – the splashing of childish play and delight (I witnessed many occasions of children and adults witnessing the sea for the first time – they have been in-landers all of their life and never seen the sea. That seems strange to me – what a change of perspective that must be – to see the sea, to see and feel for the first time the sea from which we are created?), the percussion of a dead body dropped form the pier, the trickle of mucus-like decay through soil, water tables and into the streams that feed the sea – we all return. We return and melt and blend in to the great sea – dissolved and transported.

Then some poor fool turns on a tap and drinks us.

Labels: blog games, blogging, emotion, family, life on life's terms, spirituality, word play, writing

Saturday, February 28, 2009

Plane Truth

The planes don’t bother me anymore. When I first started traveling to Raleigh, NC, the roar of the jets landing and taking off was disturbing. The first few nights, sleeping was impossible, rendered fretful by the random rumblings and vibrations. The deepest slumber couldn’t prevent their intrusions into my mind. Sporadically they bludgeoned me awake, torturing me in tension between denied sleep and imposed consciousness. Tonight I barely notice them, a transient drift of sound, a passing song. The planes don’t bother me anymore.

When does something bothersome get absorbed into our awareness and become normal? What shifts in our perceptions and understandings might allow us to accommodate such a change? Is it a slowly growing numbness like getting accustomed to cold ocean waters on a March morning? Does it happen more suddenly as if the nerves that carried crisp messages of pain suddenly misfired and went silent? Is it a choice? Do we choose to adapt one day and casually flip off the switch of caring? When does the new become old?

What is that old saying? “The devil we know is better than the devil we fear?” No, that isn’t it, but I know there is one – something about new things becoming old things. “Something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue.” Yes. It is like getting married, in a way, when the new becomes familiar.

Getting married used to be, or at least we pretend it used to be, a rite of passage when many things formally taboo suddenly, in the blink of an eye, the moment of a kiss and the placement of a ring, are turned to sacred and expected to become normal. Permission from some higher authority gives us consent and instantly we change. Yet, it doesn’t happen so quickly. It takes time for us to travel from the something new to the something old, the familiar something.

We travel, though, finding ways to understand, cope, and even accept things that once surprised us. The towel left on the floor every morning, tucked away in the corner between the tub and the wall annoys us. At first we discuss and argue over the silliness of it.

“Why don’t you just hang it up?”

“I don’t know. I’ll pick it up next time.”

The next time it does get hung neatly on the rack, but soon the ‘next time’ gets lost and there’s the tossed towel, again; a damp, lifeless testimony to some inability to change. Then there comes a moment when we realize that this is a small thing, after all, and there are so many, must be so many, bigger than damp towel things. So we adjust. The cap gets left off the toothpaste and we manage to stop seeing it. The crumbs settle into the sheets and we grow accustomed to the little nuisances, simply brushing them aside to scatter somewhere else.

It isn’t a problem, really, accommodating the nuances of another, is it? Most would say, “No.” But, we have seen it matter. Sometimes it costs us too much.

Who knows when it happened to Sally? Somewhere between the something new and the something old she lost herself. Somewhere beyond the damp towel and a routine of rage she found herself staring at the barrel of a gun pointed at her like an accusing finger, like his finger. She trembled with fear. She stood there with a docile acceptance that kept her stationary when running should have been an option. It was her passive, undaunted acceptance that did her in. The bullet launched from the barrel and punctuated its own message through her skull and brain and into the plaster. She had accommodated too much. Some higher authority had been heard by her alone and commissioned her journey from startling to familiar, too far.

It is a precarious route we maneuver when we make those things new into things old, when we cease to be surprised and alarmed by the unkempt towels, loud noises in the dark and the violations of our peace. Sometimes we travel too far. Tonight I find myself wondering what else has found its passage to benign acceptance in my world along with the planes that don’t bother me anymore.

Labels: blogging, emotion, family, life on life's terms, word play, writing

Saturday, January 31, 2009

When Words Have Meaning

Words are abundant and free flowing, tokens tossed into our lives, plentiful, over available loud and empty cases more often than not. We throw them around like a used tea bag or an under valued cap that we flipped onto the floor only later to be kicked under the bed thoughtlessly when walking past, devoted to more important things, left there to settle into uselessness with the dust mites and pet dander.

Hello, how are you?

Good, you?

What are you doing?

I know that, but…

New and improved

Do you have a minute?

Whatever you want to do

It isn’t about the money

I love you

Yet, when the words are spoken at the right time, a time book ended between mutual struggles, and collective losses gathered along the common road of years battling commonality and mediocrity and when those words are spoken between you and that now dear and dying friend or quoted to you by someone who heard them spoken of you by that same collaborator of greatness – then those words mean more than the very life into which they are spoken.

Such was my day, today.

Labels: blogging, emotion, family, life on life's terms, spirituality, word play

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Walking Free

perspiration trails down jaw lines
the journey of necessity

vigilance
arms stretch outward

balancing
delicate steps along the precipice of doubt
pained

muscles constrict and release in rhythm
a waltz that dances ever

forward
withered cravings scream
threats

rebellion and unwillingness
fear

wisps of liberated mist rise
once bound to soil and stone now free

rising
supportive hands appear
lifting

forever a small piece of weighty matter
relief

Labels: blogging, emotion, exercise, hiking, life on life's terms, poetry, spirituality, word play

Monday, January 12, 2009

Twigs, Flakes and Strofoam Clumps

Why did I find a totally unrecognisable brand and 'flavor' of cereal for me to eat this morning? And, what does 'increased digestibility' have to do with breakfast?!

No wonder my wife declined when I offer to accompany her to the grocery store. grrrrrrrrrrr.

Labels: emotion, exercise, family, food, gender stuff, life on life's terms

Friday, January 02, 2009

New Post Requested

Dang it Dena! I would have been more than able to create a new post, but NO you had to demand one. Now, I am at a total loss… well, when in doubt, REPOST!

Announcing the return of my first post from the New Year in 2005! I quote…

"A friend told me this today.

"Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea."

I just thought I would share."

Labels: 2009, blogging, gender stuff, life on life's terms, meanderings, pets, spirituality, word play

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Peace To You

Labels: blogging, Christmas, life on life's terms, spirituality, word play

Sunday, December 21, 2008

Washing Clean Blues

Her hair

Strummed by tears

Falls a mess upon the pillows

The blues

Broadcasted in waves

Washes him down off her

The morning will find her empty, but clean.

Labels: emotion, gender stuff, life on life's terms, poetry, songs, spirituality, word play

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

November 25th, 2008

Happy Birthday Dad.

Labels: emotion, family, father's wisdom, life on life's terms, spirituality

Saturday, November 22, 2008

Not Unto Death

I’ve had a battle with a nasty head/chest cold the last couple of days. I’m getting better.

Such times are a reminder to me of my need to be flexible, to allow for change. Life changes, my life changes. I don’t count it as a bad thing that I get so enmeshed in the work of living each day that I lose touch with my own frailty. It is somewhat necessary to forget that any moment life can rip us from our seemingly normal path and demand something else of us. Such a continuous awareness – of my frailty – would be immobilizing.

But, when sickness or injury comes, it is interesting to witness the struggle I have to allow for them – life changes.

Today my chest burns, my eyes are puffy, my nose and throat are tender, and it is too much effort to think and plan for tomorrow – as much as tomorrow may need plans. Today my reason is tainted by surges of emotions that hack away at my serenity and taunt my self-worth. Physical and emotional sicknesses seem to be dear bedfellows, with me at least.

So, I’ll rest and limit my number of decisions. Sometimes doing nothing is the best choice. I’ll sip tea, read and sleep and let the world wait – for me.

As you were… -cough, cough-

Labels: common cold, emotion, life on life's terms, meanderings, spirituality

Sunday, November 16, 2008

Perhaps This World Needs

As I strive for self actuation
Demanding more of my mind, spirit and body each day
Determined to succeed, to claim yesterday’s distant horizon
As today’s dawn

It occurs to me that I might have it all wrong
What if these images of status and position
That haunt my mind each evening are self contrived
And the resistance that pushes me backward
Each hard fought day is prophetic

What if my truth is that
This world simply needs another bum?

Labels: emotion, life on life's terms, meanderings, poetry, spirituality, word play

Monday, November 10, 2008

Loud Hope

There are times when I speak as one with authority out of hope that my words are true. Words about a loved one’s success and well being spring forth from my lips in the midst of much evidence to the contrary. I can hope. Even when everything around be screams otherwise. I can hope and forgive me if I hope loudly.

I believe there is a Divine power working against the odds and since I am powerless over this one, whom I adore with every ounce of my being, I am proclaiming that which my heart cannot feel.

Be victorious my child!

Labels: emotion, family, life on life's terms, spirituality

Thursday, September 18, 2008

I Feel, Therefore I am

Sympathy

Empathy

Solitude

Sometimes feelings are so deep and personal that all that can be done is to feel them.

Labels: emotion, life on life's terms, spirituality

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Nonsensical?

Why is it that we insist, and I do mean “we” for it is my plot as well, in making sense of life – our life? Making sense of it all is a feeble attempt to remove the inherent mystery of life. Life does not ‘make sense’ if we mean by such rhetoric that life can be fully understood and explained in the same manner one might give directions to a favorite restaurant.

Myth, mystery, paradigm are words more akin to describing life, one’s life, one’s journey. Yet, we persist in trying to explain and reason our way through this existence and hope that we can find enough solidity so we may linger for another moment in the vain and frail belief of a life that makes sense. When in fact, are we not confounded by our attempts at truth and fact?

We are left with nothing more than the necessity of surrender as we fall into the chasm that reason cannot grasp and find there not a plummet to the death, but rather a descent of rapturous delight engulfing the senses that plays ever so amusingly with our spirit and carries us aloft, not down, and sets us once again on the seemingly solid ground of tomorrow. There we can imagine that we are secure, safe, and reasonable – until life comes passing again and we are unable to understand, forced to believe in and then against reason, again.

Ours is a riotous ride of delight.

Labels: emotion, life on life's terms, meanderings, spirituality